As is happening more and more frequently, God's decided that my time with Him be captured at 3:30 am. I guess He figures He's got my undivided attention at this time - He's right. Many times the only way I can return to slumber is through my conversation with Him. This morning He put our kids on my heart. They're all headed back to school and that's a very good place to be. Take a poll of most parents today (okay - not at 3:30 am...) and they'll assure you that it's time - at least the parents, they're ready!
If you'd allow, I'd like to pray over our kids - yours and mine. Be you a believer or not, I think we can agree that our kids deserve all the help they can get in this sometimes cruel and forever broken world. I know of no other power greater than the power of prayer to the King of the Universe. I mean you think YOU love your kid? God's got such a bigger and greater love for them than any of us can even wrap our tiny brains around. So here goes:
Dear Father God, our kids are about to embark on another year of learning. Learning the things that this world deems necessary to be successful on earth. As our kids return to school - be it daycare, preschool, high school, or university; public or private; big or small - please surround them with your shield of protection. Protect their minds and souls from the increasing evil in this world. Surround them with friends, peers, and adults that would only point them toward to You and Your grace.
Father, for those that already know You and Your amazing love for them - reassure them. May they feel Your presence with them as they go through each day. Continue your relentless pursuit of them with the fervor necessary to remind them that You'll never let them down and You'll never let them go. Rekindle and fan the flame that gives them the courage to live out loud for You. When they falter, place ones in their path that will help them stay the course. As they struggle to find their way and place in this world, I pray that they would find their identities in You. Place in them the desire to be bold in living out their faith as they walk with You.
For those, Lord, who've yet to realize Your loving pursuit of their souls - those that are questioning and searching and looking for things to fill them - place in their lives members of Your army that are equipped by You with the exact tools necessary to plant seeds, water, nurture, or prune. Place on their journey people that will meet them where they are to love on them in Your name. Give those people words to say and prayers to pray that will guide those who search in Your direction.
Lord, for the parents, teachers, professors, and adults; truly any person that has an influential role in the lives of our kids (secretaries, bus drivers, lunch ladies, maintenance staff, counselors, coaches, and trainers); those that provide instruction and learning to our youth, myself included - may we continue live out Your will in our lives. Give us the strength and the courage to do our jobs in ways that bless You and those we teach. May we provide a kind and safe haven for our children to learn and grow and mature. May all that we say and do and live out in Your name give You glory always.
Finally Father, for those who are convinced that You are not real, continue to soften their hearts and open their minds that they might begin to discover You in this crazy messed up world so loved by You. I pray that many will choose to come to You this year and they will find in You the peace and joy and love that is limitless because it is of You.
Help us to be present for one another, Lord. Let us choose kindness each and every day in our dealing with each other.
Father, I am humbled that You, the Master of the Universe and King of kings, choose me to be one of Your servants. May my love for You be evident in all things that I do and say. Bless this year of learning and teaching, Lord and may we all be reminded that ONLY the things we learn from and about You and Your grace will truly matter as we spend eternity in Your presence.
Lord, I will continue to Look Upward and Outward for ways to serve You.
In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Lessons of Love
He is the first man I ever loved. He is the man against
which all other males in my life have been measured. He is my dad.
I’ve learned many useful skills from my daddy – how to wire
a plug-in and three-way switch; how to change the wax ring on my toilet and
remove/replace the U-trap to retrieve a contact; how to change my oil, a tire
and start a car without a key (should the need ever arise…); how to inspect and
drive a bus; and how to fill the soap containers and restart the pumps at the
car wash (admittedly haven’t had to use this one much since moving away from
BP…) just to name a few. Many of these were learned with a rather lengthy
description and usually a diagram drawn on a scrap of paper or a piece of
cardboard. Because of this they are skills I won’t soon forget and they are
skills that I use constantly. He is literally a “Jack of all trades.”
My dad has a story for everything. He has a memory for
places and dates – especially when it comes to his hunting adventures. Drives
in the countryside around the Mann Family Farm in Missouri are ripe for
storytelling times and memory joggers. These are some of the times I love with
him.
I loved the ride to high school each day with my dad. These
are some of my most cherished memories – times I had him all to myself. I loved
having my dad at school, too – pop privileges, my own personal bank, just
simply knowing he was just down the hall.
I’ve learned many life lessons from this man as well – that
it is best to look for both sides of the story because forgiveness and blame
are simply different sides of the same coin; that love is best and most
complete when given unconditionally; that discipline is most effectively done
in love; that compassion trumps indifference; to not take myself too seriously;
to not let the little setbacks of my day get me down because everything happens
for a reason that may not ever be known to me. He’s taught me to not take life
for granted and to live every day to the fullest because we never know when
it’s our time.
Our family readily admits that our dad is living on borrowed
time – and it’s time that he’s not wasting on petty things. He loves passionately.
We each know how much we are loved as hugs and kisses and love affirmations
have always been plentiful in our house. His life is an everyday adventure. He
spends time doing the things he loves – golfing, hunting – animals AND
mushrooms, reading, building, teasing Mother, telling stories, (insert napping
here and there), singing, fixing, teaching. Always teaching. He gives of himself freely
to his kids, his grandkids, his friends and even people he doesn’t yet know
because no one is a stranger to him for long. He blesses us all greatly each
and every day.
I look back on my childhood with my parents, sister and
brother and I realize how lucky I am – we are. I can’t even wrap my mind around
how much we were loved. Are loved. Very well loved. Very much blessed.
Happy Father’s Day and Happy Birthday to my wonderful dad. I love you so much.
Thank you for loving us so well.
~ In honor of my dad for Father's Day this Sunday and his 78th birthday next Sunday.
~ In honor of my dad for Father's Day this Sunday and his 78th birthday next Sunday.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
The Love Legacy
When it comes to marriages that are lasting, I'd say my family is more than blessed. Jon and I will celebrate 24 years of marriage this June. My sister and brother-in-law will have been married 27 years the same month. Our parents will celebrate 53 years of wedded bliss this May. March 7, 2014, my mother and father-in-law celebrated 50 years of marriage. My paternal grandparents were married way more than 50 years and my maternal grandparents were wed for more than 70. We are blessed.
So, what do my ancestors know that the rest of the world doesn't? I'm not entirely sure... maybe just that a marriage vow is worth honoring. No matter what. I can't speak for any marriage, really, but the one I was raised in and the one that I'm committed to myself.
I truly think people give up entirely too easily. When the going gets tough - and IT WILL - the faint-of-heart bail. They don't see any other way. Maybe they have no other example. I'm here to tell you, You CAN make it work! But sometimes it takes a little (okay, a LOT of) work.
Before you get your undies in a wad...I realize there are circumstances where divorce has to be an option - I get that and I can totally get behind and support those that are going through a divorce. I also hope that I'm not coming across as judgmental of those who have taken that route. I just know that for us - Jon and I - it won't be an option. It takes BOTH people in the marriage to want to make it work and to be committed to making it work. If you're in a marriage where that's not the case? Then you deserve to find happiness. I'm pretty certain God wants that FOR you.
My parents don't seem to have to work very hard at their marriage - at least from my vantage point. They have always enjoyed each others' company and also spent a considerable amount of time nurturing not only their marriage relationship, but their individual friendships and the friendships they enjoy with other couples. I love watching them interact with one another and I've learned a lot from my observations. They hug. They kiss. They tease. None of this has ever been hidden from us kids. Love was lived out in our house and it was limitless. If there were any serious arguments, they weren't played out in front of us kids. They speak kindly and lovingly of each other at every opportunity - in the others' presence and behind their back. They are nurturing their legacy of love. This blesses me. This blesses us. This blesses our kids.
I married a most wonderful man - a man I feel was hand-picked for me. He has proven to me over and over again that our relationship means more to him than anything else in this world. He loves me more than I ever dared hope and freaking worlds beyond anything I could ever imagine or know that I deserve. We work at our marriage. We talk, we laugh, we squabble, and we disagree. Hell, we flat out fight sometimes! Then we apologize, hug, forgive, and try to learn from it and MOVE ON. We also agree that the vows we took 24 years ago are FOREVER vows - I like whoever said "Divorce is not an option. You mad? Take your 'tail' in the other room and calm down because we're going to work this sh!+ out!" Jon's passion for our family blesses me every day of our lives.
I hope and pray that Jon and I are adequate examples to our kids of a healthy, happy marriage. I know we've screwed up (and we're totally committed to any financial obligations for therapy...) and we apologize to one another and our kids on the rare (hopefully) occasions that those screw-ups occur. I want to live out and continue this legacy of love for the sake of my children and in honor of the successful marriages that have come before us and have influenced and blessed my family.
Lord, may the lives You've joined in this family continue to bless and honor You. I pray that You continue to bless the ones You've chosen for my children. May they feel Your presence and love as well as the love of family and friends. I am confident that You will bring them together according to Your will and in Your time. Until that time, help my children to be men and a lady with hearts for You. I know that as much as their dad and I love, cherish, and want what's best for them, Your desire and promise to provide "a hope and a future" for them is more than enough comfort for THIS girl right now. Amen.
Happy Anniversary, Larry and Elaine! Your relationship blesses me, my marriage, and the lives of your grandkids. I love you and I feel blessed beyond measure.
So, what do my ancestors know that the rest of the world doesn't? I'm not entirely sure... maybe just that a marriage vow is worth honoring. No matter what. I can't speak for any marriage, really, but the one I was raised in and the one that I'm committed to myself.
I truly think people give up entirely too easily. When the going gets tough - and IT WILL - the faint-of-heart bail. They don't see any other way. Maybe they have no other example. I'm here to tell you, You CAN make it work! But sometimes it takes a little (okay, a LOT of) work.
Before you get your undies in a wad...I realize there are circumstances where divorce has to be an option - I get that and I can totally get behind and support those that are going through a divorce. I also hope that I'm not coming across as judgmental of those who have taken that route. I just know that for us - Jon and I - it won't be an option. It takes BOTH people in the marriage to want to make it work and to be committed to making it work. If you're in a marriage where that's not the case? Then you deserve to find happiness. I'm pretty certain God wants that FOR you.
My parents don't seem to have to work very hard at their marriage - at least from my vantage point. They have always enjoyed each others' company and also spent a considerable amount of time nurturing not only their marriage relationship, but their individual friendships and the friendships they enjoy with other couples. I love watching them interact with one another and I've learned a lot from my observations. They hug. They kiss. They tease. None of this has ever been hidden from us kids. Love was lived out in our house and it was limitless. If there were any serious arguments, they weren't played out in front of us kids. They speak kindly and lovingly of each other at every opportunity - in the others' presence and behind their back. They are nurturing their legacy of love. This blesses me. This blesses us. This blesses our kids.
I married a most wonderful man - a man I feel was hand-picked for me. He has proven to me over and over again that our relationship means more to him than anything else in this world. He loves me more than I ever dared hope and freaking worlds beyond anything I could ever imagine or know that I deserve. We work at our marriage. We talk, we laugh, we squabble, and we disagree. Hell, we flat out fight sometimes! Then we apologize, hug, forgive, and try to learn from it and MOVE ON. We also agree that the vows we took 24 years ago are FOREVER vows - I like whoever said "Divorce is not an option. You mad? Take your 'tail' in the other room and calm down because we're going to work this sh!+ out!" Jon's passion for our family blesses me every day of our lives.
I hope and pray that Jon and I are adequate examples to our kids of a healthy, happy marriage. I know we've screwed up (and we're totally committed to any financial obligations for therapy...) and we apologize to one another and our kids on the rare (hopefully) occasions that those screw-ups occur. I want to live out and continue this legacy of love for the sake of my children and in honor of the successful marriages that have come before us and have influenced and blessed my family.
Lord, may the lives You've joined in this family continue to bless and honor You. I pray that You continue to bless the ones You've chosen for my children. May they feel Your presence and love as well as the love of family and friends. I am confident that You will bring them together according to Your will and in Your time. Until that time, help my children to be men and a lady with hearts for You. I know that as much as their dad and I love, cherish, and want what's best for them, Your desire and promise to provide "a hope and a future" for them is more than enough comfort for THIS girl right now. Amen.
Happy Anniversary, Larry and Elaine! Your relationship blesses me, my marriage, and the lives of your grandkids. I love you and I feel blessed beyond measure.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Lent - Giving Up and Living Out
I read a really great blog entry the other day "20 Things to Give Up for Lent" (you can find it here) and it made me think, like the Lenten season usually does, about that Catholic tradition. I'm not Catholic but I have given things up for Lent like lots of others do. I suppose it's an attempt at sacrifice in recognition for all Christ sacrificed for us - but it's a rather lame attempt as there's certainly no real comparison.
Several years ago, I began to look at this tradition and how I could make it more meaningful for myself and a way to truly honor God, His amazing sacrifice, and the grace He shows me daily. I came up with the idea of "doing for" others during Lent - "giving up" some of my time, step out of my comfort zone, and make an impact "Jesus-style." Again, my attempt pales in comparison, but I do think it makes a difference to the ones I attempt to bless.
So, on this Ash Wednesday 2014, please join me in not only "Giving Up" like Pastor Phil suggests but I offer up my own list of...
"20 Things to Live Out for Lent" (and bonus! 20+20=40 <- the number of days in Lent!):
1 - joy - remember that there's a difference between being happy and being joyful - I will continue to find joy because of my identity in Christ
2 - patience - I'm not yet what Christ intends for me to be (Philippians 1:6) - I'm not perfect and neither are others, so I need to extend patience to them as well
3 - kindness - living out kindness in the world at every opportunity is what we ALL should be about every single day - what a different earthly experience we would have!
4 - goodness - being a good person is awesome, but we all could stand to step it up a bit here and DO good as well. Find something the world needs and seek to fill that need
5 - gentleness - I struggle with this because I sometimes equate being gentle with being a doormat or allowing others take advantage of me. I need to open up my heart to the possibility that being gentle speaks more to how I treat others than how they treat me
6 - compassion - beyond sympathy into the realm of wanting to alleviate someone's suffering. Just take a look to Mother Theresa as an example of this trait in tandem with gentleness
7 - sincerity - be open. Be genuine. Most of all, just be there for your peeps
8 - courage - Am I living out my relationship with Christ in courage? Sharing my faith is certainly personal, but I think God calls us NOT to keep it private. Have to courage to speak out and up in His name (I most certainly have to pray for this one - daily!)
9 - gratitude - I follow a blog that puts this one nicely "Here's to gratitude and how it turns everything into enough." Lord, let me have a grateful heart
10 - "you-ness" - we each have something entirely different to offer our little corners of the world - without you here, something would be missing. Lord, help me to live out my uniqueness in the world
11 - understanding - seek to understand others. I don't know what things - big and small - have brought others to their current reality
12 - positivity - sometimes hard on this earth, being positive. But there's a WHOLE lotta negative already being lived out - let's start a Positivity Posse! ;)
13 - contentment - I still think Sheryl Crow says it best here - "It's not having what I want but wanting what I've got"
14 - perseverance - doing the right thing all the time can be taxing - persevere, Brave Ones!
15 - encouragement - we all need encouragement on our walks - sometimes it is the fellowship times when I am offered encouragement that get me through those trying times
16 - grace - who am I not to offer grace? For it is through grace that I have been saved! Good golly, pass that on!!
17 - faithfulness - Isn't this how we'll be judged? What have I done with what I know of God? I don't think I'll be judged by how much I know but rather what I've done with what I understand to be true about the character and love of Jesus. (Gotta thank Pastor Tony Vis for this one!)
18 - peace - What gives me peace? The answer to Question 1 of the Heidelberg Catechism - What is my only comfort in life and death? That I am not my own, but belong body and soul, in life and in death to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for my sins by His precious blood and has set me free from the tyranny of the Evil One. He watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in Heaven, in fact all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore it is by His Holy Spirit that I am assured of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for Him. So, who wants to sign up for that kind of peace?! Live. It. Out.
19 - forgiveness - you don't have to forget that someone's hurt you, but forgiving them is SO stinking freeing for your heart and soul - it's a gift for yourself! Live it out.
20 - love - Let all we do, be done in love. I Corinthians 16:14. Most of all, let love guide your life. Colossians 3:14. Even The Beatles sang, "Love is all you need" - AND it's God's greatest command Matthew 22:36-40. Truly. Who am I to argue with The Beatles and God?
We can give things up to honor God and we can live things out to honor Him.
The time has come to pay attention Brave Ones - your world is about to be rocked again with the reminder this season of just what true love looks like. Hang on to your hats.
Several years ago, I began to look at this tradition and how I could make it more meaningful for myself and a way to truly honor God, His amazing sacrifice, and the grace He shows me daily. I came up with the idea of "doing for" others during Lent - "giving up" some of my time, step out of my comfort zone, and make an impact "Jesus-style." Again, my attempt pales in comparison, but I do think it makes a difference to the ones I attempt to bless.
So, on this Ash Wednesday 2014, please join me in not only "Giving Up" like Pastor Phil suggests but I offer up my own list of...
"20 Things to Live Out for Lent" (and bonus! 20+20=40 <- the number of days in Lent!):
1 - joy - remember that there's a difference between being happy and being joyful - I will continue to find joy because of my identity in Christ
2 - patience - I'm not yet what Christ intends for me to be (Philippians 1:6) - I'm not perfect and neither are others, so I need to extend patience to them as well
3 - kindness - living out kindness in the world at every opportunity is what we ALL should be about every single day - what a different earthly experience we would have!
4 - goodness - being a good person is awesome, but we all could stand to step it up a bit here and DO good as well. Find something the world needs and seek to fill that need
5 - gentleness - I struggle with this because I sometimes equate being gentle with being a doormat or allowing others take advantage of me. I need to open up my heart to the possibility that being gentle speaks more to how I treat others than how they treat me
6 - compassion - beyond sympathy into the realm of wanting to alleviate someone's suffering. Just take a look to Mother Theresa as an example of this trait in tandem with gentleness
7 - sincerity - be open. Be genuine. Most of all, just be there for your peeps
8 - courage - Am I living out my relationship with Christ in courage? Sharing my faith is certainly personal, but I think God calls us NOT to keep it private. Have to courage to speak out and up in His name (I most certainly have to pray for this one - daily!)
9 - gratitude - I follow a blog that puts this one nicely "Here's to gratitude and how it turns everything into enough." Lord, let me have a grateful heart
10 - "you-ness" - we each have something entirely different to offer our little corners of the world - without you here, something would be missing. Lord, help me to live out my uniqueness in the world
11 - understanding - seek to understand others. I don't know what things - big and small - have brought others to their current reality
12 - positivity - sometimes hard on this earth, being positive. But there's a WHOLE lotta negative already being lived out - let's start a Positivity Posse! ;)
13 - contentment - I still think Sheryl Crow says it best here - "It's not having what I want but wanting what I've got"
14 - perseverance - doing the right thing all the time can be taxing - persevere, Brave Ones!
15 - encouragement - we all need encouragement on our walks - sometimes it is the fellowship times when I am offered encouragement that get me through those trying times
16 - grace - who am I not to offer grace? For it is through grace that I have been saved! Good golly, pass that on!!
17 - faithfulness - Isn't this how we'll be judged? What have I done with what I know of God? I don't think I'll be judged by how much I know but rather what I've done with what I understand to be true about the character and love of Jesus. (Gotta thank Pastor Tony Vis for this one!)
18 - peace - What gives me peace? The answer to Question 1 of the Heidelberg Catechism - What is my only comfort in life and death? That I am not my own, but belong body and soul, in life and in death to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for my sins by His precious blood and has set me free from the tyranny of the Evil One. He watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in Heaven, in fact all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore it is by His Holy Spirit that I am assured of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for Him. So, who wants to sign up for that kind of peace?! Live. It. Out.
That I am not my own, 1
but belong with body and soul,
both in life and in death, 2
to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. 3
He has fully paid for all my sins
with his precious blood, 4
and has set me free
from all the power of the devil. 5
He also preserves me in such a way 6
that without the will of my heavenly Father
not a hair can fall from my head; 7
indeed, all things must work together
for my salvation. 8
Therefore, by his Holy Spirit
he also assures me
of eternal life 9
and makes me heartily willing and ready
from now on to live for him.
- See more at: http://www.heidelberg-catechism.com/en/lords-days/1.html#sthash.ZdZqpezI.dpuf
That I am not my own, 1
but belong with body and soul,
both in life and in death, 2
to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. 3
He has fully paid for all my sins
with his precious blood, 4
and has set me free
from all the power of the devil. 5
He also preserves me in such a way 6
that without the will of my heavenly Father
not a hair can fall from my head; 7
indeed, all things must work together
for my salvation. 8
Therefore, by his Holy Spirit
he also assures me
of eternal life 9
and makes me heartily willing and ready
from now on to live for him.
- See more at: http://www.heidelberg-catechism.com/en/lords-days/1.html#sthash.ZdZqpezI.dpuf
That I am not my own, 1
but belong with body and soul,
both in life and in death, 2
to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. 3
He has fully paid for all my sins
with his precious blood, 4
and has set me free
from all the power of the devil. 5
He also preserves me in such a way 6
that without the will of my heavenly Father
not a hair can fall from my head; 7
indeed, all things must work together
for my salvation. 8
Therefore, by his Holy Spirit
he also assures me
of eternal life 9
and makes me heartily willing and ready
from now on to live for him.
- See more at: http://www.heidelberg-catechism.com/en/lords-days/1.html#sthash.ZdZqpezI.dpuf19 - forgiveness - you don't have to forget that someone's hurt you, but forgiving them is SO stinking freeing for your heart and soul - it's a gift for yourself! Live it out.
20 - love - Let all we do, be done in love. I Corinthians 16:14. Most of all, let love guide your life. Colossians 3:14. Even The Beatles sang, "Love is all you need" - AND it's God's greatest command Matthew 22:36-40. Truly. Who am I to argue with The Beatles and God?
We can give things up to honor God and we can live things out to honor Him.
The time has come to pay attention Brave Ones - your world is about to be rocked again with the reminder this season of just what true love looks like. Hang on to your hats.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
when does it end?
seriously? when?
so so sick and tired of illness - cancer - sick to death of it! that sounds so flipping ironic. i'm supposed to be writing (or WANT to be writing) a post on RAK - random acts of kindness. i can't even think straight. am having a very difficult time even acknowledging kindness in this world so full of sickness, death, and dying and the stages in between. people that i know. people that i love. they're suffering. where's the kindness in that? WHERE?
how do i post about love and kindness and joy when there's so much WRONG with the world in which we live? i feel like i'm losing hope - that destroys me. where ARE you Lord?! do You hear my cries of despair?! why do You seem so distant - so far from where i need You to be?! i'm looking Upward to You! please, please help me to look outward and give me the words to begin to pray. to begin to see Your promise of a hope and a future.
make Your words from Psalm 142:3 ring true in my heart - to the very core of my being. only You can bring me comfort. for "when i begin to lose hope, you [already] know what i am experiencing..."
Psalm 27:13-14
so so sick and tired of illness - cancer - sick to death of it! that sounds so flipping ironic. i'm supposed to be writing (or WANT to be writing) a post on RAK - random acts of kindness. i can't even think straight. am having a very difficult time even acknowledging kindness in this world so full of sickness, death, and dying and the stages in between. people that i know. people that i love. they're suffering. where's the kindness in that? WHERE?
how do i post about love and kindness and joy when there's so much WRONG with the world in which we live? i feel like i'm losing hope - that destroys me. where ARE you Lord?! do You hear my cries of despair?! why do You seem so distant - so far from where i need You to be?! i'm looking Upward to You! please, please help me to look outward and give me the words to begin to pray. to begin to see Your promise of a hope and a future.
make Your words from Psalm 142:3 ring true in my heart - to the very core of my being. only You can bring me comfort. for "when i begin to lose hope, you [already] know what i am experiencing..."
Psalm 27:13-14
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Challenge Accepted
I issued a challenge to my advisory this week.
Another teacher (and friend), Mike Levenhagen and I, came up with an idea to start kind of a grass roots kindness movement. We named it "Be the One." This theme is borne of a desire to change our small little corner of the world - one small act at a time. Like many schools, we've been plagued by instances of bullying - in person, on twitter, and other types of social media. It needs to stop. "Be the One" to notice if someone is singled out and work to change it. Invite that lone student to sit with you at lunch. "Be the One" to stand up for the kid that's being bullied. "Be the One" to pick up the trash you see laying around in the halls. "Be the One" to hold the door. "Be the One" that smiles at everyone. "Be the One" that your friends come to for a positive interaction. "Be the One" that pays attention and notices and acts with kindness and compassion. "Be the One" that others look to for support. Just "Be the One."
I realize that kids are more receptive to the actions and pleas of other kids than they are to those set forth by adults. I've shared my experience as one who was bullied with my own kids, my advisory kids, and many of my classes. Each time I end up quite emotional, because, know what?! IT. STILL. HURTS. The pain is still there. That, in and of itself, should say something. The effects of being bullied are long lasting. If this girl can still get emotional 28 years after the fact, then bullying is a scarring experience. (I'm pretty passionate about the subject because of this - so I guess this may be how God is using that negative experience in my life to bring about something good. That God - He's something else!)
So - back to the challenge I issued my advisory kids. I asked them to think. "What is the nicest thing someone has said to you today?" Silence. 'Thinking' silence. 'No response' silence. 'I can't come up with anything' silence!! (granted it was just after second hour, but still!) NOTHING! Somewhat stunned but not too surprised, I told them we were going to go about changing that. Each of us. One interaction at a time. It went something like this:
"Think about the Pillars of Character and the traits of a person that exemplifies those traits. Now think of a person to thank. Not for something they did for or gave to you, but something they are to you. Think about the ways they have shown you that they care about you, respected you, were fair, or have shown their trustworthiness. Then THANK THEM. Be specific. It might sound something like this, 'Hey, Megan! I just wanted to thank you for being so caring. You're always willing to listen to me complain about things and not judge or try to fix what ever is going on with me. You just listen and I really appreciate that. Thanks!' Make it be face-to-face (no texting on this one!) and genuine (you have to really, really mean it)!
Suppose you'll be a bit uncomfortable? Probably. Hopefully. GOOD!!! That's okay! Guess what? Discomfort inspires change! Change is good! If you are always comfortable, things are never going to be any different for you than they are right this minute. How boring is THAT?! All new and great things and experiences start with a bit of discomfort and fear! Don't you dare forget that you may be the only nice thing to happen to this person today (or this week, or this month, or this year...) That's really sad but probably more true than we'd like to think.
We'll start with someone easy. Think about your best friend. Start there. But I want you to notice your feelings, too. What are you feeling about the challenge? What are you feeling as you think about what to say? What are you feeling as you are actually speaking the words? What are you feeling when you're done? What are you feeling as you look back on your day and remember the interaction? How did they react? How did their reaction make you feel?
But hey, let's not stop here! Let's make a list of the types of people we can approach with this. Parents, siblings, teachers, support staff (coaches, custodians, food service, secretaries, counselors, bus drivers, and principals), a classmate, an under class man, an upper class man. Let's be intentional. Let's take the time. Let's make a difference. One encounter at a time."
I'm all about smiling and making the world smile a little bit. I want for the people I care about and see every day to know that they matter - to me and to lots of other people too. I don't want to leave words and feelings unspoken. If these past weeks have taught me anything it's that there is never enough time to tell people that they matter to you. It's never too late to start!
Join us. Be the One. Look Outward.
I'll keep you posted!
Another teacher (and friend), Mike Levenhagen and I, came up with an idea to start kind of a grass roots kindness movement. We named it "Be the One." This theme is borne of a desire to change our small little corner of the world - one small act at a time. Like many schools, we've been plagued by instances of bullying - in person, on twitter, and other types of social media. It needs to stop. "Be the One" to notice if someone is singled out and work to change it. Invite that lone student to sit with you at lunch. "Be the One" to stand up for the kid that's being bullied. "Be the One" to pick up the trash you see laying around in the halls. "Be the One" to hold the door. "Be the One" that smiles at everyone. "Be the One" that your friends come to for a positive interaction. "Be the One" that pays attention and notices and acts with kindness and compassion. "Be the One" that others look to for support. Just "Be the One."
I realize that kids are more receptive to the actions and pleas of other kids than they are to those set forth by adults. I've shared my experience as one who was bullied with my own kids, my advisory kids, and many of my classes. Each time I end up quite emotional, because, know what?! IT. STILL. HURTS. The pain is still there. That, in and of itself, should say something. The effects of being bullied are long lasting. If this girl can still get emotional 28 years after the fact, then bullying is a scarring experience. (I'm pretty passionate about the subject because of this - so I guess this may be how God is using that negative experience in my life to bring about something good. That God - He's something else!)
So - back to the challenge I issued my advisory kids. I asked them to think. "What is the nicest thing someone has said to you today?" Silence. 'Thinking' silence. 'No response' silence. 'I can't come up with anything' silence!! (granted it was just after second hour, but still!) NOTHING! Somewhat stunned but not too surprised, I told them we were going to go about changing that. Each of us. One interaction at a time. It went something like this:
"Think about the Pillars of Character and the traits of a person that exemplifies those traits. Now think of a person to thank. Not for something they did for or gave to you, but something they are to you. Think about the ways they have shown you that they care about you, respected you, were fair, or have shown their trustworthiness. Then THANK THEM. Be specific. It might sound something like this, 'Hey, Megan! I just wanted to thank you for being so caring. You're always willing to listen to me complain about things and not judge or try to fix what ever is going on with me. You just listen and I really appreciate that. Thanks!' Make it be face-to-face (no texting on this one!) and genuine (you have to really, really mean it)!
Suppose you'll be a bit uncomfortable? Probably. Hopefully. GOOD!!! That's okay! Guess what? Discomfort inspires change! Change is good! If you are always comfortable, things are never going to be any different for you than they are right this minute. How boring is THAT?! All new and great things and experiences start with a bit of discomfort and fear! Don't you dare forget that you may be the only nice thing to happen to this person today (or this week, or this month, or this year...) That's really sad but probably more true than we'd like to think.
We'll start with someone easy. Think about your best friend. Start there. But I want you to notice your feelings, too. What are you feeling about the challenge? What are you feeling as you think about what to say? What are you feeling as you are actually speaking the words? What are you feeling when you're done? What are you feeling as you look back on your day and remember the interaction? How did they react? How did their reaction make you feel?
But hey, let's not stop here! Let's make a list of the types of people we can approach with this. Parents, siblings, teachers, support staff (coaches, custodians, food service, secretaries, counselors, bus drivers, and principals), a classmate, an under class man, an upper class man. Let's be intentional. Let's take the time. Let's make a difference. One encounter at a time."
I'm all about smiling and making the world smile a little bit. I want for the people I care about and see every day to know that they matter - to me and to lots of other people too. I don't want to leave words and feelings unspoken. If these past weeks have taught me anything it's that there is never enough time to tell people that they matter to you. It's never too late to start!
Join us. Be the One. Look Outward.
I'll keep you posted!
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Help Me Understand
There are things that happen in this world that I
truly do not understand - things that make me question my faith and my God.
I just returned from the visitation for a young
man. A young man who is well loved and well thought of by hundreds of people. I hugged parents of this young man who are
experiencing a pain so numbing at the same time raw and I had no clue what to
say. What do you say? There are no
words. Parents are not meant to outlive their children. What came out of my
mouth? “What great kids you have. I am so, so sorry.” I don’t know if that was
right or wrong but it was from my broken heart. I hugged the twin sister of
this young man knowing that she most probably lost not only her brother but
also her best friend.
Earlier this week this
young man took his own life. I don't pretend to know the circumstances
surrounding this choice. I can’t help but think of suicide as less about
wanting to end ones life and more about wanting to end some sort of pain - a
pain that is unbearable. A pain that seems impossible to escape from. A pain
and agony with a depth that I cannot begin to comprehend. Holy
cow but the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never
explained! He was a great kid.
Why. Why. Why.
I've been touched
many times by suicide in my 47 years – so many that I’ve lost count. People
that attended high school with me, people from my hometown, siblings of friends,
siblings of former students and most recently a former student. I can’t imagine
a pain so great and deep that I would desire to end it all. I don’t understand
but I SO want to! Suicide is so tragic and it scares me so much - certainly as
a teacher but most deeply as a parent. What I feel mostly is helpless. Helpless
and ill equipped to notice the signs and symptoms. Can you love someone away
from the decision? It scares me that so many times so many things are left
unsaid. Did I tell them I loved them often enough? Did I not only say it but
show it as well? Was it in the form that they longed to see, hear, or feel it? Did
I let them know that they are loved and cherished more than they will ever know
by the One that died to know them? (Romans5:8) Did I tell them that the pain
that they’ve been feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming? (Romans
8:18) Did I notice their sadness and depression and seek to understand it or
was I too busy and wrapped up in my own life and “stuff” that I missed their
pain?
I may be ill equipped
to deal and to love the pain out of someone, but God is not. I find comfort in His arms and in His word. I hope I point to Him enough. I love my kids - the ones I birthed and the ones I've taught. Tonight was hard but my God is BIG. So until I meet my
Savior face-to-face and can ask Him “Why?”
I will continue to look Upward knowing that He has a plan.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Flawed Christian
I am a follower of Christ. I call myself a Christian. I am saved by the grace of Jesus Christ. Each day I fail Him but He shows me mercy and grace and loves me anyway. I am much more a sinner than I ever dared believed yet far more loved than I ever dared hope. I am a flawed Christian. I live in a broken world that is so deeply loved by Christ. In that truth I find hope.
There are days when my thoughts and actions and spoken words are far from Christ-like. Those are sad days for me - but much sadder, I am certain, for my Father in Heaven. When I claim to be a Christ-follower and a Christian and my actions and words don't reflect that, it hurts His whole body and the job we're called to do in His Name. Christ knows His followers all to well. The world? This lost and broken world? Not so much.
Those that do not yet know Him aren't so understanding. They don't see that the reason we attend church is to gather in all of our flaws and darkest places of our hearts to ask His forgiveness and to renew our strength in Him. They don't know that we see ourselves as broken and in need of our Savior. They don't witness our fellowship and acts of worship in His Name. They. Don't. Know Him. That's our calling. We are called to point to Him ALWAYS. Our mission is to look Upward and Outward.
I look Upward. In Christ I find hope. In Christ I find acceptance. In Christ I find mercy and grace. In Christ I find peace and rest. In Christ I find joy and my identity. He will never let me down and He'll never let me go.
I look Outward. I look for ways to show others the hope that is in Christ. I look for opportunities to accept others for who they are - not for what they have or have not done. I search my past for those for whom I'm harboring a hurt and ask Him to show me ways to offer them mercy and strength to show them grace. I open my eyes to those who are feeling lonely and lost and hurt and seek to bring them tiny bits of joy through my actions, my words, and my prayers. I pray for the words to tell them that in Christ they can become His new creation. With each breath I will seek to bring Him glory!
Am I flawed? Most certainly! Does God still use me? You betcha! I don't need to be perfect. I just need to have God! 2 Corinthians 12:9 But He said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
There are days when my thoughts and actions and spoken words are far from Christ-like. Those are sad days for me - but much sadder, I am certain, for my Father in Heaven. When I claim to be a Christ-follower and a Christian and my actions and words don't reflect that, it hurts His whole body and the job we're called to do in His Name. Christ knows His followers all to well. The world? This lost and broken world? Not so much.
Those that do not yet know Him aren't so understanding. They don't see that the reason we attend church is to gather in all of our flaws and darkest places of our hearts to ask His forgiveness and to renew our strength in Him. They don't know that we see ourselves as broken and in need of our Savior. They don't witness our fellowship and acts of worship in His Name. They. Don't. Know Him. That's our calling. We are called to point to Him ALWAYS. Our mission is to look Upward and Outward.
I look Upward. In Christ I find hope. In Christ I find acceptance. In Christ I find mercy and grace. In Christ I find peace and rest. In Christ I find joy and my identity. He will never let me down and He'll never let me go.
I look Outward. I look for ways to show others the hope that is in Christ. I look for opportunities to accept others for who they are - not for what they have or have not done. I search my past for those for whom I'm harboring a hurt and ask Him to show me ways to offer them mercy and strength to show them grace. I open my eyes to those who are feeling lonely and lost and hurt and seek to bring them tiny bits of joy through my actions, my words, and my prayers. I pray for the words to tell them that in Christ they can become His new creation. With each breath I will seek to bring Him glory!
Am I flawed? Most certainly! Does God still use me? You betcha! I don't need to be perfect. I just need to have God! 2 Corinthians 12:9 But He said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
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