Another teacher (and friend), Mike Levenhagen and I, came up with an idea to start kind of a grass roots kindness movement. We named it "Be the One." This theme is borne of a desire to change our small little corner of the world - one small act at a time. Like many schools, we've been plagued by instances of bullying - in person, on twitter, and other types of social media. It needs to stop. "Be the One" to notice if someone is singled out and work to change it. Invite that lone student to sit with you at lunch. "Be the One" to stand up for the kid that's being bullied. "Be the One" to pick up the trash you see laying around in the halls. "Be the One" to hold the door. "Be the One" that smiles at everyone. "Be the One" that your friends come to for a positive interaction. "Be the One" that pays attention and notices and acts with kindness and compassion. "Be the One" that others look to for support. Just "Be the One."
I realize that kids are more receptive to the actions and pleas of other kids than they are to those set forth by adults. I've shared my experience as one who was bullied with my own kids, my advisory kids, and many of my classes. Each time I end up quite emotional, because, know what?! IT. STILL. HURTS. The pain is still there. That, in and of itself, should say something. The effects of being bullied are long lasting. If this girl can still get emotional 28 years after the fact, then bullying is a scarring experience. (I'm pretty passionate about the subject because of this - so I guess this may be how God is using that negative experience in my life to bring about something good. That God - He's something else!)
So - back to the challenge I issued my advisory kids. I asked them to think. "What is the nicest thing someone has said to you today?" Silence. 'Thinking' silence. 'No response' silence. 'I can't come up with anything' silence!! (granted it was just after second hour, but still!) NOTHING! Somewhat stunned but not too surprised, I told them we were going to go about changing that. Each of us. One interaction at a time. It went something like this:
"Think about the Pillars of Character and the traits of a person that exemplifies those traits. Now think of a person to thank. Not for something they did for or gave to you, but something they are to you. Think about the ways they have shown you that they care about you, respected you, were fair, or have shown their trustworthiness. Then THANK THEM. Be specific. It might sound something like this, 'Hey, Megan! I just wanted to thank you for being so caring. You're always willing to listen to me complain about things and not judge or try to fix what ever is going on with me. You just listen and I really appreciate that. Thanks!' Make it be face-to-face (no texting on this one!) and genuine (you have to really, really mean it)!
Suppose you'll be a bit uncomfortable? Probably. Hopefully. GOOD!!! That's okay! Guess what? Discomfort inspires change! Change is good! If you are always comfortable, things are never going to be any different for you than they are right this minute. How boring is THAT?! All new and great things and experiences start with a bit of discomfort and fear! Don't you dare forget that you may be the only nice thing to happen to this person today (or this week, or this month, or this year...) That's really sad but probably more true than we'd like to think.
We'll start with someone easy. Think about your best friend. Start there. But I want you to notice your feelings, too. What are you feeling about the challenge? What are you feeling as you think about what to say? What are you feeling as you are actually speaking the words? What are you feeling when you're done? What are you feeling as you look back on your day and remember the interaction? How did they react? How did their reaction make you feel?
But hey, let's not stop here! Let's make a list of the types of people we can approach with this. Parents, siblings, teachers, support staff (coaches, custodians, food service, secretaries, counselors, bus drivers, and principals), a classmate, an under class man, an upper class man. Let's be intentional. Let's take the time. Let's make a difference. One encounter at a time."
I'm all about smiling and making the world smile a little bit. I want for the people I care about and see every day to know that they matter - to me and to lots of other people too. I don't want to leave words and feelings unspoken. If these past weeks have taught me anything it's that there is never enough time to tell people that they matter to you. It's never too late to start!
Join us. Be the One. Look Outward.
I'll keep you posted!
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